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Zeus, Zion, and Zealots [Aug. 24th, 2007|01:21 pm]
Dinner with Sayre last night. Ran into him randomly at the HUB, sat down to have dinner with him.

Interesting conversation there; he's working like crazy.

Was impressed by his knowledge of the crazy history of the world. There is so much awful stuff that happens everyday.... He has an extensive knowledge of Greek and Roman gods.

At the Russian:

Connected with several of the newer girls, and an older friend, Madeline, who was relating to me how she was tricked into going to a bible study once with a "friend" who told her that she was going to hell, and then stopped being her friend when she told her that she wasn't interested in going to church.

Kind of sad. I think that honest open dialogue is much more effective. When do you just "give up" on somebody? Is this Christ-like to say, "I don't need you in my life?"

I can understand if that somebody is attacking your church/beliefs/family and trying to tear you down (the need to keep a safe distance from them to protect yourself), but I don't ever think it's justifiable to just "drop" somebody from your life simply because they don't believe in the same thing that you do and they're not attacking you....
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Love your neighbor as yourself [Aug. 22nd, 2007|11:45 pm]
My hero once said, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Yet how many of us who profess to follow this man actually PRACTICE this? If not, what are the major barriers? This has always troubled me, and tonight over a coffee hour with the lovely Amy, together we came up with the following list:

1. Pride/Arrogance
2. Cliquishness
3. Fear of Rejection
4. An “Us-vs.-them” rather than an “Us-serving-them” mentality
5. Cycles of hypocrisy, fed by #1-4.

One other thing that has bothered me: Some of these postings have become extremely preachy. For one who staunchly claims to believe in strong male leadership in the church, at what point do I cross the line into hypocrisy?

Do I become a man-basher and condescending shrew because I narcissistically assume the position of a twisted Deborah II, with a complete lack of righteous men in my life/world who strive to love, cherish, and protect me?

After talking with Amy, I had to admit, I do. I do it all the time to men who love me the most (to those Swing Kid men I call dear, to those who call me family). I take over, scream at them, emotionally slaughter them and grind them up into a spiritual hamburger and leave them crawling and whimpering to a corner waving a battered and bloodied white flag (and create an environment that will encourage the other women who look up to me and follow my lead to do the same).

And then I foolishly wonder why we lack a strong male leadership presence in Swing Kids for next year, or why those who survived don’t seem to stand up as much as they could and why some very wise young men fled the Swing Kids scene.

Yes, men are horrible to women. I agree. Statistics by the National Institute of Health say that 80 percent of women will be sexually abused sometime in their lives (In my experience in getting close to all my female friends, I would say that the statistic is closer to 100 percent; though I recognize that people’s opinions of what constitutes as sexual abuse do differ).

But is the ethical solution to chop them down automatically when they falter and to withhold encouragement when they genuinely TRY (and flop)?

To those of you who have been victims of my vitriol: I deeply apologize….

An afternote: I'd share more but I don't yet have Amy's permission to post much of what was said (and much was quite personal). Will wait til I see her again.
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Story #23: Food for thought, more free flowers, Coffee @ Cafe on the Ave, Dinner, and quiet time [Aug. 20th, 2007|11:06 pm]
From Richard Higgison's Questions of Business Life:

1. Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
2. Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
3. Communism: You have two cows. You must take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
4. Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
5. Enron Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then create a debt equity swap with an associated general offer so that you can get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred through an intermediary shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The Enron annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

The free flower this time was a thistle. I figured this time I’d give it to the first male stranger I met (Braveheart, which is an amazing movie, and which I have watched recently, causes me to automatically think that thistles are somehow a masculine flower).

Went to Café on the Ave, handed it to the male baristas behind the counter (they were really surprised yet pleased), and engaged in a conversation with them as well as another female customer regarding Point 5.

All three of them were students. Asked them what their goals and dreams in life were. One (Barista #1) was a biology major, wasn’t sure yet what he wanted to do in life. Neither was his friend (Barista #2). Girl customer wanted to travel.

We discussed Point #5: I told them how I like to sit in a certain café downtown by the busy business district, observing the clientele around quitting time (after 5 P.M.; and because it’s Seattle and people get offended if a stranger stares at them too long, I wear my dark sunglasses). Oftentimes you will see very well dressed businessmen and women coming in after a long day of work to “relax” by drinking large quantities of very expensive extra shot mochas (don’t ask me why), and pull out their laptops… to work some more. I don’t understand. They have just worked for eight hours or more in a cubicle, and they create a NEW cubicle by opening up their laptops, turning the volume up on their iPods, and shutting themselves off from the world. And frighteningly enough, they are sitting right next to somebody who is dressed identically and doing the SAME THING.

Occasionally, I will sit down right next to one of them (and this always invokes a reaction of being intruded upon). More often than not, if there is an empty table ANYWHERE in the café, they will look to it, and look at me quizzically. 50% of the time, the person who had just been so diligently typing away will suddenly remember the rain gutters they need to demagnetize (get away from this crazy lady who’s trying to communicate with me!).

The other 50% are willing to at least talk. I find that while many seem to be leading rich lives outside of work, many of them are workaholics (I can identify) and are without children (don’t have time, though would looove to have kids someday… though many are women who admit they are pushing 40+ and having biological kids is starting to become out of the question). A couple of them revealed to me that they’re going through bouts of depression because of the horrendous stress at work and the lack of direction that many of them are finding.

I find this tragic.

Baristas #1 and #2 told me that they see the same thing happen in their café, only in the context of students. They told me that often the students will look pretty miserable.

I don’t write this to condemn others, nor do I claim that ALL corporate workers (or students!) are like this. However, I originally entered the business school with the sole intention of becoming a high powered, highly paid corporate woman to whom a vast number of terrified minions would answer and to whom statues and monuments would be raised.

I’ve gradually realized how empty my life would soon become (barren of children, whom I love, and barren of someone else I’m desperately trying to love the most). I still realize that everything I do, even charity work, is done with the selfish intent to self-glorify and turn into a monster, and it is only the quality of the honest relationships with friends around me that keeps me from becoming completely evil.

Spent the next few minutes mulling this over while I headed over to my friend Alison, with whom I promised to help cook dinner; shared a meal with her and her housemates, whom I am getting to know much better. One of them loves to hike. One of them likes musical theater (and has a wonderful voice to match!). One of them is an engineer who’s working with a bioengineering team to create a mechanical glove that will aid in life-saving surgeries. I encouraged him to enter it into the annual Business Plan Competition.
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BEDC Dinner, Part 2 [Aug. 11th, 2007|05:51 pm]
Met several new people at the dinner last night.

One of them (whose name I have already forgotten) was a former business school student who currently works for United Way. He was at a recent fundraising dinner at which somebody commented, "You know, if only we could make a profit off of ending homelessness, we could end it in a year." He said it made his flesh crawl.

Yet, I believe that it's true. I believe that we are all (including myself) by nature inherently selfish, and if there was a way to profit from getting rid of homelessness, then people would milk the opportunitiy for all its worth to gain righteousness in the eyes of others.

But does the act of righteousness lose its merit if it is done only out of selfish ambition? Even if the selfishness is so completely hidden that even the actor is blind to it? I believe so, and I am the worst of these offenders (if you are curious what I mean by this, I encourage you to ask), but please I'm curious to know your opinions.
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BEDC Dinner, Part 1 [Aug. 11th, 2007|05:50 pm]
Had dinner with a gaggle of BEDC friends.

We went to a bar afterwards. For those of you who don't know me well, I'm an abstainer from alcohol and thus not a huge fan of bars, but I'm willing and open to trying it out, as long as I'm not under pressure to imbibe. I don't condemn others for drinking. I just know myself; I'd get addicted, FAST (I'm bad at self-control; I told myself six years ago that I'd never get addicted to coffee, and look what happened. The last thing I need is another expensive drinking habit).

At the bar: the conversation turned into an interesting conversation about what it means to live a meaningful life, as well as revealed to them my many workaholic, judgmental tendencies.

I will write more in detail tomorrow; I'm really tired right now and it would take a while to type out. But nevertheless, I was extremely impressed by the maturity and the intelligence of my business school peers, their willingness to truly question and explore the existence of God.

Learned that many of them were curious and as interested as I was about Christianity. If God truly exists, is he truly an unloving, wrathful being that sends legions of innocents to hell for not knowing or believing in Him, while letting hypocritical Christians ("In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, let's go invade some countries, burn some synagogues, persecute black people, and kill some gays!") go to heaven (wanted to know where "loving your neighbor as yourself" plays in)? Made plans to meet with some of them to continue our discussion in the near future.

Met a fellow MBA hopeful. Made plans to create a GMAT study group once finals are over next week. I'm hoping to use a business MBA to allow me continued access to key people whom with whom we can use combined skills to serve others. It would be extremely arrogant of me to assume that I will be earning an MBA next year, however.

In the end though, I believe that it doesn't really matter how many degrees you earn, how much money you make, what kind of car you drive. In the end, I think we will all be held accountable to the following:

"I was hungry, and you gave me food. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was frightened, and you gave me comfort. I was in prison, and you visited me. I was lonely, and you were my friend."
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To friends: I am a recovering workaholic. [Jul. 23rd, 2007|09:12 pm]
Please y'all do me a huge favor and let me know when I am slipping, short tempered. I really am trying to improve myself.

The following are warning indicators that ministry leaders are heading toward burnout, if not already there. Sadly, we too often become so focused on our tasks and responsibilities that we fail to see these warning signs until it is too late.

* Unusual mood swings that may include weeping without just cause, anger, or depression
* Exhaustion
* Nervous twitch
* Fragmentation
* Disassociation or checking out
* Canker sores
* Paranoia and suspicion
* Weight change, including gain or loss
* Moments of panic and feeling totally overwhelmed
* Fantasizing about dying or running away to get away from the pressure
* Fight-or-flight cycles where you rise up to intimidate and conquer others or run away from difficulties just to avoid them
* Insomnia, including difficulty falling asleep or remaining asleep, which can lead to a reliance on sleeping pills
* Too frequent use of alcohol or tobacco
* High blood pressure
* Comforting yourself with unhealthy foods packed with fat, sugar, and simple carbohydrates
* General irritability
* Reckless driving
* Notable ongoing sexual temptation
* Health-related issues such as irritable bowel syndrome, headaches, heart trouble, chronic sickness, and stomach problems including ulcers
* A victim mentality that sees the world as against you and everyone as an enemy to varying degrees
* Shopping sprees and unnecessary financial spending
* Reliance on caffeine to self-medicate
* Children, friends, and loved ones begin to feel like yet another burden


And the twelve steps to burnout....

Psychologist Herbert Freudenberger and his colleague Gail North have divided the path to burnout into twelve steps. These steps do not necessarily follow one another in order. Some people skip some steps, go through several at the same time, or experience them in various orders.

1. A compulsion to prove oneself (commitment to win no matter what)
2. Working harder (feeling irreplaceable they buckle down, raise personal expectations, and take on more and more responsibility)
3. Neglecting their needs (eating, sleeping, playing are sacrificed for performance)
4. Displacement of conflicts (something is wrong but I'm unsure what)
5. Revision of values (friends, hobbies, and fun are dismissed)
6. Denial of emerging problems (cynism, anger, and despising of others for being stupid, lazy, demanding, and undisciplined)
7. Withdrawal (socially withdrawn, loss of hope and direction, pursuit of sinful relief such as drugs, sex, or alcohol)
8. Obvious behavior changes (shy, apathetic, depressed, haggard)
9. Depersonalization (lose contact with self, life becomes meaningless and mechanical)
10. Inner emptiness (often overcompensated for with oversexing, overeating, drug and alcohol abuse in place of leisure time)
11. Depression (indifferent, hopeless, exhausted, life loses meaning and everything from agitation to apathy sets in)
12. Burnout (suicidal thoughts and/or obsession with heaven, physical and mental collapse, need for medical help)

From me to friends: I am a recovering workaholic.
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quote (s) of the day [Jun. 11th, 2007|10:47 pm]
Jonah Cohen (10:45:40 PM): mmm... laxatives
Jonah Cohen (10:45:50 PM): sweet, delicious laxatives
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Thoroughly Modern Millie was AMAZING! [Jun. 4th, 2007|12:22 am]
'Nuff said!
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Grrrr [Jun. 2nd, 2007|01:28 am]
[Current Mood | angry rhino]

I hate bureaucracy.
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Whee meme time! [May. 19th, 2007|07:18 pm]
You scored as Christianity. Your views are most similar to those of Christianity. Do more research on Christianity and possibly consider being baptized and accepting Jesus, if you aren't already Christian.

Christianity is the second of the Abrahamic faiths; it follows Judaism and is followed by Islam. It differs in its belief of Jesus, as not a prophet nor historical figure, but as God in human form. The Holy Trinity is the concept that God takes three forms: the Father, the Son (Jesus), and the Holy Ghost (sometimes called Holy Spirit). Jesus taught the idea of instead of seeking revenge, one should love his or her neighbors and enemies. Christians believe that Jesus died on the cross to save humankind and forgive people's sins.

</td>

Christianity

83%

Islam

33%

Judaism

33%

Buddhism

33%

Hinduism

17%

agnosticism

0%

Satanism

0%

Paganism

0%

atheism

0%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com
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Quote of the day [May. 17th, 2007|12:05 am]
If lobsters looked like puppies, then people wouldn't throw them into pots of boiling water. But they look like science fiction monsters instead, so it's ok. Restuarants who let their patrons choose their live lobster to boil and consume should be made to paint names on the lobsters' backs: Happy, Sweetie Pie, Fred. I defy anyone to throw a living thing named "Happy" into a pot of rapidly boiling water.
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Losing faith in humanity [May. 1st, 2007|09:33 pm]
I just need to be held :(
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Our website is up! [Apr. 30th, 2007|12:28 pm]
http://laethiopia.org/
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I am ignorant. Mea Culpa. [Apr. 28th, 2007|06:53 pm]
I detest uncomfortable politics, amongst the dearest of my friends. I have been so busy with work lately, I am so out of the social loop; the last couple of days; I keep making one social gaffe after another based on my ignorance of the status quo.

I should get out more often. Really.
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Meme time! Johari me! [Apr. 22nd, 2007|08:02 am]
http://kevan.org/johari?name=Laura%20U
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WE MADE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Apr. 9th, 2007|06:10 pm]
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Laura is bouncing off the walls
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Points to Levi, Gen's back, and my crazy life [Apr. 6th, 2007|02:30 pm]
So I've been AWOL from Swing Kids; and depending on what happens Mon, will likely remain AWOL.

Business Plan Competition. We want that $25,000.

If we don't make it to the next round:

1. Laura cries
2. Laura gets caught up with homework
3. Laura returns to Swing Kids/IVCF/normal social life

If we do make it:

1. Laura doesn't cry.
2. Laura starts mobilizing/writing extended business plan.
3. Laura starts living off of ramen and coffee.
4. Laura becomes a very rare species.
5. Laura's team kicks butt in the finals.
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ack! where did my vacation go? [Mar. 25th, 2007|07:54 pm]
Teehee. But excited for next quarter :P
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Clarification [Mar. 18th, 2007|07:06 pm]
Post Finals Stress Disorder.

Mutter to myself when I'm stressed. Occasionally swear under my breath at random times (though trying to cut back on this). Been muttering/cursing/muffling frustrated screaming under my breath increasingly over the past week, been concerning people with my mutterings.

I really don't actually hate people. If I mutter, "I hate people," it's just a sentiment expressing all of the bottled up stress of the past quarter condensed into one phrase. I'm just letting it all out.

I don't really hate people. I love people. I really do. And I love group projects.

I just need a vacation from them every once in a while.
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I'm out of my mind right now, but please feel free to leave a message :) [Mar. 14th, 2007|05:02 am]
Wow. I spent 13 hours STRAIGHT at Odegaard? I just spent the night there. I think I must have written about 20 pages just now. Ready to head off to bed :)
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